i think i will start blogging somewhere else..

where i can decide my privacy

i have had a lovehate relationship with blogger..

but alas...

goodbye blogger

find me if u can

:)

Goth blog~

what say you??

orange and black...

tho i still like the other blogskin more..

i couldn't find anything else that i really really liked...

oh wells...

new beginning new blogskin ma..

hahhaha...

hopefully i will update more often..

Sept 2009

gosh...

it's been a month since i last updated..

tsk tsk..

and so many things happened in the past month....

let me try to elaborate......

(not in sequence tho.. my memory not that gud.. :S)

i quit my job as a shop assistant

i found out that the person who was trying to be the good guy is actually the bad guy to start with..

haiz... people have to realise that when they do stupid things others will eventually pick up on it..

no way was i going to stay there after everything that happened..

only a fool wouldn't leave regardless on how much i could get if i stayed on..

i apparently played the violin better

despite not practicing as much.. or rather so little.. =/.. my teacher actually said my playing improved..

though not much compared to timmy..

haiz.. why you can play so well one??

*jealous*

i helped decorate a PINK party..........for a guy

hahahha.. sound so....not right..

but it was fun.. i finally went to midvalley/gardens after sooo long...

went to the biggest craft shop i have seen in KL...

itchy hands.... :P

and also i got to make tissue paper pom-poms and flowers~

my crafting side still hasn't left me fully :P

oh.. and i totally fail at making alcoholic beverages...

shows how much of a noob i am when it comes to alcohol..

haiz..

tho a 17 year old said my mojito was a 'definite failure' i think i like mojitos..

mint leaves + soda water + rum + sugar = yum yum

hahhahha... i love mint~

must try a proper mojito soon...

i am left all alone in the next KLPAC orchestra

the next orchestra concert (17-19th Dec?) i will be alll alone..

XT, WH and timmy all not playing...

how how how?

i'l be sooo bored + scared...

now i got no one to lead me... haiz...

gotta prac more.. or at least listen to the recording more.. =/

i haven't spontaneously bought anything for myself

so it might not be a bad thing..

but i've been working near a shopping center for 3 months but i have yet to buy anything for myself..

anything doesn't include food and drinks laa...

(tho i probably have spent tooo much on food)

but since i started working i haven't bought anything on impulse..

very very so not me.. hahhaa...

gotta plan a trip to some mall to get stuff..

=.=

i quit as a music teacher

i know.. people has told me what a waste...

but i can't teach there la..

bloody idiot act as if i'm not there even though i was standing in the middle of everything..

i really really don't want to but i rather not take the pay and be free that place...

i am gonna miss my students so so much...

my super hyperactive cute little students to the student that has finally showed me some interest..

i'm really sorry to have left.. but i believe you guys and do well..

T.T

i'm gonna start work soon

so soon right??

but no choice la.. i need the $$$$...

haiz.. i miss being a student with no worries...

my next job should be even more demanding than the last..

but hopefully i can cope...

i should be ok gua..

wish me luck!!! hahahaha...

seriously...

meh.. i don't remember what else happened.. anyone remembers anything let me know..

=P

1st day of work.......

.......and all i did was key in product codes.......

how how??

if its gonna be like that the whole time i will die...of boredom...

maybe i shld bring in a book to read? O.o

or maybe.. bring in crystals to weave??

hahaha..

so impossible...

haiz...

students come quick le....

who wants to be my student??

now is a good time to come learn..

lol~

now i gotta get ready for tmrw!!

have to attempt to sleep before 2am if not i will look like a panda again...

hahhaha..

Happy 2009!!!!

It's the New Year!!!

Happy New Year Everybody!
(as if anyone stops by here that often.....)

I spent new years eve rather differently this year...
not at church as usual but not out clubbing either...
i was actually back in my not-so-little room in Serdang with Timmy..

oh.. i drove there myself.. hahahhaha....

ok... let me see...
we pretty much cleared up the dust and rearranged the stuff in my little corner of the room..
poor Timmy had to clean the super dirty fan...
Thank You Baby!!! *muahx*

after all the dusting and wiping we went to get some snacks/drinks...
my usual stach was gone and i didnt want to drive back and get caught in the jam....
then, we just spent the rest of the day just talking to each other..
about anything and everything..
it was nice..
to have a person that i can share my thoughts with..
even thought we have a 5 year gap between us, you understand me..
and that means a lot to me :) :)

we pretty much talked the night away...
until we realized we had to sleep cuz i still had to drive back the next day...
hahhaha...

i enjoyed my new years eve...
though it is super uneventful..
no countdowns at fancy spots, no fireworks, no booze...
but it was nice..
just you and me.. randomly chatting..
we should do more of this k??
☺

A Quick Summary

Bye bye 2008!!!

i loved you...
because i went through so much in just one year..
i went from sad and alone to happy and loved all in a year!!

lets see......
i started off as a person who just got dumped.. sad sad sad..
but through that experience i think i grew to be a stronger person???
but through all that heartache and sadness i also found out who my real friends are...
many people that i lost contact with were the ones who consoled me and helped me get back on my own two feet...
thank you all!!!!

hmm.... what else....
oh!! i'm driving already!!
hahah... so gud hor.... after soooooo many years of getting my license....
i didnt actually do this out of my own freewill...
i had to do it..
because there was no one to drive me around anymore...
big big thank you to all the people who encouraged me/forced to drive...
now i TRY to drive you around k??
:P :P

oh oh....
i have found someone who loves me dearly ♥
a person who makes me feel that i mean the world to him...
it's a first for me.. and i totally love being with you!!
although we quarrel and fight sometimes..
thank you for bearing with me!
even if i am sometimes.... most times unreasonable..
though you dont mind, don't give in too much k?
i dont want to be a pampered girlfriend..
it's not good for us....
thank you for letting me know that you love me for who i am.. not what i look like on the outside...
when you said you didnt mind the cut on my head even though it was super obvious..
it meant so much to me!!! no one has ever said that too me...
most people would make me cover it up and hide it...
Baby, seriously, thank you for being in my life ♥♥♥♥
you are the best thing that happened to me in 2008!!!

hmm... i've also been out shopping a lot...
so much until i feel like i have nothing that i really need...
no.. i do not have everything in the world..
i just feel... maybe... dont slap me....
but i just feel that my life is somewhat complete???
i was never a person that feels contented easily..
it's just that now i do not have people in my life telling me how fat/sad/ugly i am..
the company that i have now are people who give me positive feedback and that makes me feel that i am good enough...
i do not have to do much to change who i am anymore...
not like before....
where the person i thought cared bout me usually gave me super negative comments...
haiz...


but it's all different now!!!

i started afresh in 2008 and now i'm going to make sure 2009 is gonna be better..
with great friends and family with me i'm sure it will be better :)

Happy 2009!!!!!

I turn 22 today~ @.@

Happy birthday to me~
Happy birthday to me~~
Happy birthday to Lil Miss Lou Lou~~~~
Happy birthday to me~~

so lame -.-

lol..

i am officially older......

gonna spend today out with you~~
hopefully don't have to spend much though...
heheheh....

(off to catch some beauty sleep~)


bye bye~

Sucess!!

at last i have figured out how to change my template!!!
hahahhahahaha...

someone congratulate me please :P

10 october 2008

wei wei...
must help me..
i dun wanna go alone..
you be free to teman me kayz???
*fingers crossed*

can you help me keep this secret?

i have a lil secret i would like to share..
but i'm scared it'll get out and reach the ears of certain people..
what can i do???

too bad this there is not protected post thing here...

hmmm...

*thinking thinking*

maybe i'll write it in the next post???

=/

i will miss u :)

done w klpac concert at last!!!
no more worrying bout the crazy bowing or the scary seating~
yay!!!!!

but...
i will miss all the friends that i made there..
maybe i'd be playing again next concert...

but...
who knows..... :)

back at uni....

sad sad sads news for me...
i'm back at the place that i really dun wanna be...
but yet it is a necessary for me to be...
may all goes well :)

surprised >.<

karen dropped by my place today on the way to 1U for movie w sidney to pass me the shoes that i bought from elo that day..
(all the best to sidney and his stand. chart. thing...)

dun tell mom!!! she thinks i have to many pairs already.... which might be somewhat true...
but...
it was rm25 onli....

besides the pair of shoes (which was the only thing i was expecting)
there was another pair of slippers in the bag...

karen got it for free at sm event... but it was my size..
and she decided to giv it to me...
so sweeeeettt of her... :):)

but that wasnt all........
there was a lil envelop in the bag as well....

frontback

lil disclaimer.. lol... not needed in my opinion...

it gets cuter inside....
front

back

so cute....
the message was so sweet also...
thanks karen!!!
for evrything....
from baking cupcakes to bazaar/flea market hopping..
not forgetting emmagem-ing at nite... XD XD


maybe by my next holiday i can drive u around more??
lol..
*fingers crossed*

all the best with your interview :)
see you on weekends after i go back UPM (so sad so sad)....
come visit me if u r free.. heheheheh

driving on a friday

was left all alone to drive to class last friday..
so sad so sad..
but in the end i didn't have to drive alone all the way..
only to karen's house...
hehehehe...

wasnt all that bad though.. but i still don't like driving.. =.=

neways, karen brought me to bijou cafe at one of the condominiums near mont kiara
pretty pretty cafe in pretty pretty condo..
the setting was so un-malaysian like...
but it was lovely..
the prices on the other hand... hahaha..

should bring mom there one day to try out the other food... hehehehe...

pics pics below..

pink placemats (karen took one home, but it's still in the car :P)

fudge brownie

choc chip scone

bijou soda i think..

lime mint drink

lol.. i really need to know the name of the drinks better..
the food was okay..
the fudge brownie was super chocolaty....
but i rather the scone was not choc chip.. was in the mood for a plain scone... haiz..

after lunch/tea i had to go for flute lesson...
i dunno which is scarier though... flute lesson or driving... hmmm.......
shld think that out.. lol.


evryth turned out okay..
the driving and class...
but still........
i dun like driving... hahahhaha...

but it's a necessity.. slowly getting the hang of it..


wish me luck this friday!!

Randomness

Leona Lewis ~ Better In Time

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok


Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time


I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remaind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok


Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time


Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will


Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

little somethings...

ANNIVERSARIES
Always celebrate! Whether it's the 1st or the 50th, each year together is a triumph.


APPRECIATION
Let each other know how much you appreciate each other. You may already know but hearing it from each other is always better.


BEST FRIENDS
Be best friends preferably before being boyfriend-girlfriend. Take time to know each other so the relationship will be a deep one. Tell each other about your crushes, dreams and problems.

Make sure he/she is your best friend before getting engaged. The strong bond of friendship will help you both survive tough times.


BOND
make it a point to spend time together often but leave room for each other. Also spend time alone w/ each other, so that at the end of the day you could both share your experiences. This way, you stay interesting with your partner.


CHANGING EACH OTHER
Don't marry an asshole,a jerk or a bitch.You'll never change each other.


COMPLIMENTS
Always compliment each other. This will prevent feelings of resentment & thinking that one is being taken for granted.


DATE
Keep doings things that you both enjoy, do them together. Make time & continue to date to keep the romance - look good, smell good to maintain physical attraction


DIFFERENCES
Celebrate differences. Never force your ideologies down each other's throat. Give up trying to turn your partner into you. Accept differences, appreciate them.


FIGHTS
Fight w/the aim to resolve the issue. Don't outdo each other. The longer you extend the fight. The more chances that you'll say something hurtful that you don't really mean. As mad as you were w/ your partner, he/she is still the person who laughs at your jokes & thinks you're hot.


Hear each other out, don't dig up old issues. Choose you battles. Make sure the fight will be worth it & that something will change in the relationship as a result of the fight.


FLAWS
Know that the perfect person does not exist. Know that just as there are things that you love about him/her, there will be things that will make you go crazy. We are only human with our own flaws.


FUN
Have fun together! This means keeping the fun & spontaneity that was there in the early days. Allow yourselves to get silly- shower together, pee w/the door open etc.

Being able to make each other laugh & see the lighter, crazier, absurd side is the best way to get through all the differences in personalities, adjustments in lifestyle & opposing viewpoints.


GOALS
Make sure you have similar goals. It would be difficult to keep your bond intact if your views are complete opposite,


GRUDGES
Quit tabulating grudges. Let it off. Discuss it, then trash it, don't recycle it.


KEEPING IT HOT
Keep it hot by traveling to diff. places together. A new setting will do wonders. Always have skin contact - be it holding hands, a massage or just plain leg rubbing.


HONESTY
Don't lie or hide things. The problem will only get bigger.


KNOW EACH OTHER
Learn each other's interest. It really keeps the conversation flowing!


HUG
A hug can be far better more intimate than a kiss.


IDENTITY
Don't lose your personality- that's why he/she fell in love w/you.Have separate interest & activities to keep your individual, & to be able to contribute more to the relationship.


INDEPENDENCE
Having your own income means you're the boss in your life.


IN-LAWS
Make rooms for the in-laws.


INTENTIONS
Wish each other well. Don't wish each other worst


ISSUES
Speak up about the awkward stuff now, like money & sex. The earlier,the better.


LISTEN
Listen, listen, listen. Hear each other out especially during arguments.


LOOK GOOD
Mind your appearance! Stay fit & healthy for each other.


LOVE
It all boils down to your love, chemistry & respect for each other.


MEMORIES
Remind each other of the old days. Do something that you used to do for each other before. It may even be corny but it made you two together. Experience new things together- from dining into a new restaurant to experiencing street food together to exploring to new places. It's the little surprises that make great memories.


MIND READING
No matter how long you've been together, do not think that you can read each other's mind.


NEEDS
Be good to yourself,then be good to your partner. That's what love is all about. Think about your partner. Will it make him/her happy? Will she/he enjoy it? Consider each other's feelings. Be very attentive & sensitive to each other's needs, physically & emotionally, that way your partner learns to do the same for you. Never take your partner for granted.


PRIORITIES
If one says it's important, then it is! Prioritize each other among other things!


SEX
Be sexually adventurous. Make each other feel comfortable sharing
your sexual fantasies or frustrations.


SPACE
Give each other space. Have dates with your girlfriends, have your boy's night out. If you can't trust each other with this, then don't get married.


SORRY
Say sorry when you're wrong.


SURPRISES
No matter how long you've known each other, be open to surprises,
both good or bad.


TEAMWORK
Think for two & always work as a team. Consult each other before
making a decision because everything will always affect both of you.

Strengthen couple power. In many ways, we have to decide based on what is best for the relationship in favor of our individual selves.


SUPPORT
Support each other's dream. Be willing to follow your passions, support your partner in his/her decisions & create new ones together.

Two heads are better than one.


TALK
Tell each other's stories. Life goes by so fast & its easy to see how easily couple can grow apart. Whenever something funny, scary, exciting or juicy happened to you or to someone you know, tell each other about it & have your partner do the same. Keep each other in the loop of life,even by email if you have to.

Communication is the main ingredient in successful long relationships. Share your feelings w/o judgments or criticism,active listening, then working up to a discussion for problem solving. It takes continuous effort & learning.

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) - e e cummings

i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)
                   
i fear no fate
(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world
(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart
(i carry it in my heart)

a hug was all that i needed

1am in the morning and i am still awake

no longer from the pain and crying

but actually 'cause i am feeling much better

one friend in particular helped the most
thank you for listening to me that night
the hug that you gave me meant the most


you gave me a sense of being loved


although it was only for that few minutes you spent with me
i really did feel so much relive


all the sadness and tears that i had pent up in me
the pain that caused me sleepless nights
all were gone
even for a lil while
thank you for showing me that even without him i can move on
i still can be loved after this


all i have to do now is have the courage to love again
maybe not so soon but i sure hope i do again
:)

Happy New Year!!


the new year has arrived..

and with it i hope so does new hope and new meaning in life for me..


gone are the days where i sit and sob..


from now on i have to move on..

forget bout the past and start over..


a month after, and things have been moving rather smoothly..

thanks to all my friends and family that have been by my side..

especially to those who cheered me up over dinners n lunches~


i love food!!
much more than sitting and sobbing!