i need a break...

wth is your problem??

so what if i cant play properly??

how the hell would i know that i'd be forced to play by memory????

i never memorized the piece before and just now was the first time i picked up my violin for the day??

i lack expierience that all of you had..

cant i just have a break??

so what if i tend to go off tune??

i dont even know what notes i'm supposed to play!

so what if other people can play all the notes better than i can??

go fucking take the book away from her then see whether she can play everything correct!!!

heck! even i can play perfectly in tune if i can read the stupid score!!

my brain is not a photocopy machine..

i have shit memory and shit hearing.. 

live with it!!

hate life rite now...

why can't i just skip this phase of life??

i still cant believe that i chose music over other interest in my life...

other interest that seems more and more interesting as life goes on..

things that i can relate to more...

regrets sink in deeper and deeper everyday....

if only i could turn back time...

Numb...

It's not like i don't want it..

it's just plain fact that i am struggling to get there..

its not as easy for me as the rest of you..

i am already under immense stress...

even my body is slowly showing signs that i'm being streched too thin..

if it goes on i'm scared that history will repeat itself...

can't anybody understand where i am??

i wanna cry...

my proposal for my final project paper was passed but after i went to talk to my supervisor she rejected the topic...

(which she passed in the first place)

how how how??

have to come out with a whole new topic??

someone help me??

:(