one word can cut me deeper than the sharpest razor..
he did it once again..

Octivia - Benjamin Siew

Stole this off my friends blog
with permission of course
in a way i can relate to this song as it reflected what i was feeling the past few weeks
well maybe not the last part.. i wanna move on!!

Octivia


Room smells like cheap cigarettes.
Bed smells like hard liquor.
My face against the pillow.
The only thing left that's sweet is the memory with you.

Eyes wide open, vision blurred.
Mind clogged with secondhand smoke.
Only thing that's clear is the name Octivia.
And the lips that i couldn't resist.

Oh why have you had to slip off my life?
The feeling's so real that it no longer hurts.
The numbness in my life i felt.
Told me that you're still a part of me.


Chorus:
Have you ever turned back?
Just to see if i'm following?
Have you ever felt bad?
When you see me in the dark corner crying?


Those eyes of yours.
I can see your love for me within.
You did not show, you tried to hide.
But you forgot that you're a part of me.

I'm not the shadows you thought.
I'm the light that shines onto you.
So bright that you cant see me.
Just like the amount of love i shine onto you.


Chorus:
Have you ever turned back?
Just to see if i'm following?
Have you ever felt bad?
When you see me in the dark corner crying?


Face passed, breath exhaled.
Both of us standing in the sea of people.
Eyes squints, lips sealed.
Both of us waiting for each other.
So shall i make the first move?

--End--

a hug was all that i needed

1am in the morning and i am still awake

no longer from the pain and crying

but actually 'cause i am feeling much better

one friend in particular helped the most
thank you for listening to me that night
the hug that you gave me meant the most


you gave me a sense of being loved


although it was only for that few minutes you spent with me
i really did feel so much relive


all the sadness and tears that i had pent up in me
the pain that caused me sleepless nights
all were gone
even for a lil while
thank you for showing me that even without him i can move on
i still can be loved after this


all i have to do now is have the courage to love again
maybe not so soon but i sure hope i do again
:)

Happy New Year!!


the new year has arrived..

and with it i hope so does new hope and new meaning in life for me..


gone are the days where i sit and sob..


from now on i have to move on..

forget bout the past and start over..


a month after, and things have been moving rather smoothly..

thanks to all my friends and family that have been by my side..

especially to those who cheered me up over dinners n lunches~


i love food!!
much more than sitting and sobbing!