random thoughts

the weekend away was ok

tear-free but not care-free

everywhere I went I saw us together

where we sat, ate, laughed

but it will never happen ever again

not anymore

not with you

even when playing in the orchestra

you crept in my mind

i was supposed to be concentrating

but you were still in my mind

how??

why??

i asked were you happy on your trip to PD

you say you were happy

only because you were on a holiday

but why can’t I do it??

why are you still on my mind??

i can’t seem to block you from my mind..

but you manage to do it..

i was not in your thoughts at all

you said you were thinking things

thinking how to mend things

but you were so happy it seems so impossible

impossible that you were trying

over the weekend I tried to be like you

but I couldn’t for so long

but at last I knew how you did it

you deleted me from your life even before the trip

you never thought of fixing things at all

if you were thinking bout it

it would have shown in your photographs

your eyes would have shown it

but they didn’t

that’s how I know

that’s how you did it

but I can’t do it

you made yourself a part of me

and yanked yourself out so suddenly

pieces of you are still with me

why am I not like you?

WHY??