sleepless

it's almost 4a.m. but i still can't fall asleep..

normally i would have slept and woken up by now..
woken up my dreams i had - happy but sad dreams..
all i can do everytime i wake up is to cry myself back to sleep..
but it hurts so much everytime i don't wanna do it..

the things he said to me today hurts so much more..
everytime i close my eyes i hear the things he said to me..


'i still love you'

'she is my close friend'


'can you stop assuming things!!!'

(maybe this is why i can't sleep)
another flow of tears trickle from my eyes..
but only i know it..

i wonder,
if any other girl were to hear all these words in that exact sequence what would she do??
wouldn't she break down??
apparently my breaking down is not appropriate to him..
i'm always 'assuming things'..
i have the right to do so!!
i just got dumped by a guy who says he loves me but can't be with me or share his problems with me...
many-a-time he said he talked to other girls because
'you (ME) are the problem'
and then takes it back and rephrases it to
'the problem is with US'..
if he had done it just once or twice i can cope with it...
but multiple times, all not even 15minutes apart??

maybe i am over-reacting..
maybe i am 'assuming' things..
but how can i not??
my life is a mess now...
someone please help me...