my tears have left me

i thought crying was the worse feeling there is to whats happening now
but there is something worse

-NOT being able to cry-

my body has reached a point that i thought was scientifically impossible
although my heart hurts, i can't express it anymore
my eyes seems to have lost the ability to shed tears

maybe it's a sign
a sign to give in to it all
to accept the fact that nothing ever be the same anymore



a friend told me

'there is always a way to solve your differences.
if the both of you love each other,
other people and other issues around your relationship shouldn't matter
because at the end of the day,
it's about you and him,
not you guys and anyone or anything else.'

that was what i thought in my mind
i was willing to change
but he said it is not enough
even if i changed

'things will be the same the problem will still exist'
why so??

he keeps saying he feels really bad about doing this to me
that it hurts him as much as it does me
but honestly,
i can't see it in him
i can't see the regret, no pain.
he has already rid his car of all my belongings


so swift, so quick


he has turned into someone i do not recognize anymore.

his gaze at me is so cold

his touch no longer holds the warmth it had

and the way he speaks to me

no longer with love

cold and harsh

every sentence like acid dripping on my heart


maybe i made him mad the few days
but truth be told
i think this is how he really feels about me

i only wonder how he can still say he loves me
i want so bad to believe it
but i no longer can